you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
