dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
