She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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