She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
