It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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