You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
