I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize