Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
