My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
