woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
where am i from again
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
