got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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