when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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