Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he was CRYING into my vagina
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
