Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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