Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
