I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
