Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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