i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
