i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Are we still banned from the library?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
