Can i not drive my cunt home
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
