he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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