Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
