can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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