God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
