Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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