he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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