Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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