spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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