hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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