Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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