It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
