we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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