you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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