After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
