I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
