3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
