can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
