so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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