is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
