No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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