Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
