I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
