so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
