I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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