the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
