PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
