he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
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you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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