i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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