youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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