Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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