i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
