Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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