this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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