let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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