Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
