I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
