I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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