Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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