Ambien. No doubt about it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
