Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
