and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
