she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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