shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I want you more than these girls want KFC
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
