Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
